


Dear Diary

by stonyunited



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, I wrote this when I was depressed, I'm Sorry, M/M, Not Happy, POV Tony Stark, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Tony Stark Needs a Hug, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 20:41:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16751197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stonyunited/pseuds/stonyunited
Summary: Post-Infinity War. Read Tony's thoughts after everyone turned to dust.





	Dear Diary

“…Everything feels broken. Not only physically but also mentally. My side hurts and I could only heal it a little bit. My suit is breaking down and soon- I’ll have nothing left but this aching feeling in my chest. Longing for the people that are back on earth. If there are even people on earth anymore. 

I watched the young boy who I helped train. He was my responsibility. I needed to keep him safe. And I failed. He slipped right through my fingers. I still remember the last words he ever said to me. ‘I’m sorry.’ Peter shouldn’t have to be the one who said sorry. It was my fault, I’m sorry for not caring for you. Now I have to explain to your Aunt and close friends that it was my fault that I let you die on an alien planet because I couldn’t protect you. 

My mind keeps going to the people I left behind. Are they alive and well? Are they dead? If they are alive, are they thinking about me? Wondering if I’m alive or dead? Happy, Rhodey, Pepper, Steve.

Steve. 

I’ve regretted many things in my life but not as much as I regret what happened between Steve and I. The accords were bound to happen. We both had different beliefs about it and there’s not much I could have changed. I regret that I went two years not talking to Steve but yet, still carrying around that damn old flip phone. That was such a Steve thing to do. Either he was mocking my high knowledge of tech or he’s just old school like that. Most likely the latter. I should have called him. To check up on him. To see how he’s doing. I was for sure being Captain America meant everything to him but maybe I was wrong. I still have his shield in the compound…why do I still carry that around? Maybe for sentimental reasons. Maybe I’m holding onto it in hopes that he might want it back someday. Maybe I’m keeping it for other reasons entirely, I don’t know. 

Is Steve alive? Or did he turn to dust like almost everyone else on this planet? He doesn’t deserve to die like that. He’s heroic and would die saving someone’s life. Not dying because of a giant purple dildo snapped his fingers and made everyone vanish into thin air. He doesn’t deserve that. No one deserves to die like that. If he is gone, hopefully he didn’t go along and scared. I was here with Peter, Steve needed someone to be with. Hopefully Romanoff or Thor was with him. Or even Barnes. It must be the worst feeling in the world to die by yourself. Of course I wouldn’t know that. I haven’t died yet, sadly. 

A part of me wishes I died alongside Peter. Another part of me wishes I didn’t just so I can try and find a way off this planet with Nebula and stab Thanos in the head. All I want to get off this fucking planet and get revenge. Make Thanos pay for hurting innocent civilians. For hurting the Avengers and my friends.

For hurting Steve.” 

Tony slowly stopped moving his pencil across the scrap of paper that was laid across his knee as he heard footsteps approach him from behind. 

“I found the missing piece we need to get the ship working again.” Nebula said, holding the part tight in her fist. “You ready?”

Tony looked up at her with a determined look on his face. 

“Ready.”

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is short but I actually like it more then I should have??? I was thinking about doing Steve's POV but we'll see how this one does! I hope ya'll enjoyed even if it was kinda...depressing lol. 
> 
> Until later my peeps <3


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